[image align=”right” img =”http://poeticfeast.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/curtain.jpg” alt=”behind the curtain” /]
Behind the curtain I always remained
Befitting to none of my woven dreams
Blemishes so many, blaming me for all
Bewildered I am still in search of a path.
As a child born among nightingales
With a heart so musical like a bard’s
But destined just to behold and boost
Discarded Often as a shrieking crow.
As a student never among frontiers
Wished to dazzle but often withdrawn
A shy performer quieted after preludes
Remarkable though belittled by marks.
As a daughter beloved to my parents
But no where near their aspirations
Though not their pride, never a shame
Blessed am l, to be a mould of their gene.
As a sister, my siblings are my blessings
Paddled for me when ever stuck in storms
Tears quiet often betray my love for them
Together we are, though separate we stay.
As a wife, wedded to a man of my choice
Welded even in the midst of whirlwinds
With so many dreams yet to be realized
With him I remain in love but always behind.
As a mother, most blessed status of a woman
My sons, granting a grand meaning to my life
Wish to live long for them, as one among them
Princes so priceless, pleasure for me to love.
As a friend, friends I have, jewels at par
Some cozy with open hearts to heed and herald
Some with mental and monetary help in time
Indebted I feel as they are indeed indispensable
Alas, as a woman as an individual? Dumped I am
As days go by loosing self respect and shrinking
Each day wailing with a mind so vehement
To be someone, is it so catty a dream to realize?
Beyond everything I believe in self, but
Beneath I remain once blurred by falls
Blabbering mind often befools to hide
Bubbling dreams often kept in mute
Still I clinch here with a hope to launch
With a promising vision of vast vistas
Once the sobs subside, smiles supersede
After all life is a gamble, let me roll my dice.
‘blessed am I to be a mould of their gene’,’welded even in the midst of whirlwinds’ – beautiful expressions. Try and get rid of self pity and magnify ur self esteem – your dreams won’t remain mute anymore.Remember,’Nothing venture, nothing have’ and opportunity comes often disguised as hard work. Your sentimental obsessions act as barricades and when you have accepted the motherhood of two ‘princes’as the greatest blessing of womanhood,why to yearn for other status or vistas? Being a ‘bard’you should not envy the nightingales whose sweet notes got lost in wilderness, in their struggles to make the ends meet. Cheer up and pen more and more lyrical realties.A cindrella night will soon enamour you,transforming ur woes into glorious gainings.
ohhh!!! Lovely thoughts about parents, family, friends…..but when it comes to self? Dont lose self-respect as you rightly pointed out in one of the lines….though not their pride but never the shame. This itself is an achievement. I can feel your sorrow but this too shall pass. Amen.